What is success? Success can be defined in infinite ways. In my own simple terms, success is the accomplishment of one’s goals. With that said, success is different for all of us.
What is preventing you from being successful and reaching your goals?
I had a friend and former boss pull me in for a one on one development meeting. I always enjoyed these meetings because I was usually given feedback about how solid my performance is with a couple minor adjustments needed to be considered exemplary. The meetings were motivational and kept me wanting to work harder for my boss and the company. My boss was a leader that knew how to deliver critical feedback to inspire and motivate direct reports for optimal performance to benefit the company and the employee.
I’ll never forget the day my boss said “do you know what the problem is with Derrick Falcetti?"
Immediately, I felt defensive and it took every ounce of energy to not respond negatively. I had simply stated no and listened intently. I’ll never forget what he said.
“You’re afraid of success!”
There it was, I had to respond! Me?! Afraid of success?! Not a chance!! I told him he was wrong. I was defensive and not accepting the feedback.
My boss handled my reaction well and we finished the conversation with a few positive comments that I didn’t even process. I was infuriated with his comment about being afraid of success.
Who was he to tell me I was afraid of success?!
I was great and I knew it!!!
I had a 75 minute drive home after work. This ride was long and became monotonous after doing it for years. But, this ride was like no other. It was one of those rides where I didn’t play music. I was deep in thought over the feedback I received. It didn’t take long and I had realized that my boss was right. He was on to something. It’s true, I was afraid of success!
But, what did that mean?
I had so many goals and dreams with little to no progress. The feedback I received was that I had unlimited potential and could easily be a high level leader in the company/industry. Potential……One of my least favorite words. I always felt like that was a nice way of telling someone they aren’t good enough. What I learned was, potential means you have the ability and not always the desire. In this case, I had potential and had the desire, what was I missing?
In my mind, I knew I was capable but didn’t think that I was deserving of being successful. I was letting my past define my future. Sure, things weren’t always easy growing up but they certainly could have been worse. The biggest road block I had was my mindset.
The feedback my boss gave me wasn’t intended to upset me. It came from a good place. My initial perspective was to be defensive and justify why he was wrong before I understood the intent of the feedback. Looking back, it was some of the best feedback I have ever received. My boss was vested into my development and wanted to see me follow in their footsteps. What started as a difficult conversation turned out to be the motivation I needed to truly start my journey in leadership.
Here are some things that have helped me along the way:
Understand that potential is only potential if you don’t take action.
Your success is YOUR responsibility!
Leaders create more leaders.
Increase productivity. Ask for help, delegate appropriately.
Ask for feedback, internalize it, be appreciative.
Don’t let your past define you. Everyday is a new opportunity to write your story.
No excuses, be accountable!
Perspective is everything - frame things appropriately.
Be consistent!
Failure isn’t the end. It’s an opportunity for a new beginning.
Exactly what I needed to hear, you have a way with words!
Well said! It’s amazing what we can do when we get past the obstacles we place on ourselves.
I enjoyed Every Line! Thank You 🙏 You sir should Run For Mayor!!
Leaders create more leaders 🙏🏻 That was powerful coach🔥